What does it mean to be a “good golfer”? In one important sense, it has nothing to do with technical ability, with the scores you shoot. Good golfers take care of the course. Good golfers appreciate all that the sport gives them and pay it forward with philanthropy and kindness. Good golfers savor their time in and around the game.
Golfers strive to improve, and we should all strive to be better in this non-scorecard way, too. It isn’t always easy. But, for starters, kindness begets kindness – so if you are kind to newcomers, kind to the course, and kind to yourself, golf will (generally) be kind to you. With insights from teaching pros, Rules and agronomy experts, a time-management whiz, a comedian and even a Buddhist monk, here’s how to be the best golfer you can be, whether you shoot 59 or 109.
Leave the course better than you found it.
Take a moment to apply the Golden Rule to course care. Would you like your ball to land in someone else’s bunker footprint? Was that fun, hitting out of an unrepaired fairway divot?
“Golfers claim that they always fix their ball mark and at least one other,” said Adam Moeller, the USGA’s director of Green Section education. “But in my experience, that’s not the case.” He gets it: Your primary focus is on making your putt, not on caring for the course. “Still, if more people did what they said, it would result in better conditioning for everyone.”
Moeller also recommends taking extra-special care with bunkers. “Players try to minimize how much they have to rake by entering on the low side and exiting on the high side,” he said. “But that can damage grass on the slope and leave a deep footprint, creating a bad lie for someone else.”
A few other bunker basics: follow course rules regarding preferred rake placement (i.e., inside or outside the bunker) to minimize the potential for one to come into play; never pull sand from the middle to the edge and redistribute only enough to smooth over your splash mark; finally, don’t assume you can skimp on raking late in the day. “That’s a false narrative,” Moeller said. “Courses have reduced their raking frequency.”
Regarding divots: If soil is still attached, replace the divot and firmly press it down. Otherwise, use the divot mix provided by the course – but remember, less is more. “A lot of people create an ant hill, which over time is among the biggest contributors to un-level tees,” he said. “Only fill it to just beneath the turf surface.”
Moeller has a tip for ball marks, too: Take an angled ball-mark repair tool and flip it backwards, so it’s automatically at an angle that helps to stretch the turf, as opposed to prying it upright and accidentally causing further damage.
And, for goodness’ sake, keep all four wheels on the designated cart path around tees and greens. “People often park their cart partway on the grass there, because it’s second nature to pull over a cart to allow others to pass,” Moeller said. “But it’s especially tough to grow grass in these places, so the more people can avoid doing that, the less likely golfers are to have to play from hardpan or bare soil.”
Play at a quicker pace.
We’ve all been there, arriving at the next tee only to find the group ahead still there. Sigh. Congestion can plague any course, public or private, and it isn’t only because of a slow group here or there – it’s a mathematical problem, according to Matt Pringle, the USGA’s managing director for Research, Science and Innovation, who has been studying pace of play for nearly a decade.
“I use the analogy of a train,” Pringle said. “The day’s first rounds are the locomotive. If they go slow, on a busy day it’s almost certain that every round that follows will be slow.” So, early bird, it’s your job to be a team player and play briskly.
For those who follow in their wake, your job is to keep up. “If the group in front of you teed off at 9, and you teed off at 9:10, you need to stay 10 minutes behind,” he said. “If you lag by 11 or 12 minutes, it adds up.” If there are 50 groups on the course that day, two extra minutes per group would add 100 minutes to the total round time – that’s how you go from a 3½-hour round to five hours or longer, per Pringle.
The onus isn’t only on the golfer: The facility has a responsibility to manage the tee sheet with realistic expectations and ensure that golfers are staying in position. This might entail politely asking slower groups to skip a hole or switch to a different set of tees. If, heaven forbid, that’s your group, please comply gracefully.
To avoid inadvertently “slowing down the train,” Pringle recommends practicing “ready golf,” conceding short putts, and keeping a 10-minute shot clock in your mind’s eye. “If the group ahead of you is on the green when you tee off on No. 1, that’s a visual reference for what 10 minutes looks like. So, if on the second hole, you’re standing on the fairway and they’re on the green, you’re doing your part to keep up.”
Give back to the game.
In golf terms, philanthropy is opportunity – an opportunity to share the game with those who may not otherwise have access and to give back to your local community. That’s the philosophy of Charlaine Hirst, site director for the Whispering Pines, N.C., chapter of LPGA*USGA Girls Golf and recipient of the 2020 Sandy LaBauve Spirit Award, named for the organization’s founder.
Hirst has dedicated much of her 25 years as a professional golfer and instructor to philanthropy, be it with the Girl Scouts of America, First Tee, and now her own LPGA-USGA Girls Golf program, near Pinehurst, N.C. “Many girls have the potential to grow their skills,” she said, “but when you add the dynamic of boys, they’re just not as comfortable in a learning setting. A girls-only option lets them be giggly and enjoy the experience.”
Her program provides more than just diversion. “Golf offers a foundation in life skills,” Hirst said. “It teaches honesty, integrity and perseverance.” She adds philanthropy as a core pillar: Every year, Hirst and her girls collect donations for a local pet rescue and build gift-filled shoeboxes for children in need during the holidays. Consider taking these lessons to heart by giving your time or treasure to a worthy golf cause such as LPGA-USGA Girls Golf, First Tee, or a local charity golf outing.
“Not everybody can give financially, but everybody is able to give something of themselves,” Hirst said. “If you instill that habit early enough, it becomes part of you.”
Make newcomers and less experienced golfers feel welcome.
We were all beginners once.
“It starts with an invitation,” said Jane Frost, LPGA Hall of Famer and founder of the Jane Frost Golf Performance Center at Sandwich Hollows Golf Club in Massachusetts. “If you see new faces around the course, reach out and get to know them.”
If you’re paired up with a newbie to the game, you might offer to play a scramble or teach them how to get around the course efficiently – because, most likely, they don’t. Frost suggests casual tips like, Did you know that you can clear the green faster if you leave your bag on the side closest to the next tee?
Be patient, recalling your own early days. If the rookie struggles to advance the ball much on several consecutive fairway shots, suggest he or she move forward 100 yards or drop the ball beside the green rather than just pocketing it and moving on to the next hole. “This way, you keep pace of play, but your playing partner can practice chipping and putting, which helps to develop your full swing and impact position,” said Frost.
If they’re stressing about their score, remind them that newcomers and skilled players aren’t measured by the same standard. And always keep the mood light: “Remind them to focus on the simple things,” Frost suggested, “like the fact that you’re out in nature, the weather is pleasant and you’re getting some exercise.”
Stay calm and carry on.
For Lama Kunga Rinpoche, a Tibetan monk who runs the Ewam Choden Buddhist Center, near Berkeley, Calif., golf came at a relatively late age. “A friend introduced me, and I became hooked,” he said. After 20 years, Lama – a self-professed beginner now in his late 80s – still enjoys playing. “It gives me an opportunity to exercise, and when I play by myself I can pray.”
He also appreciates the mental challenge. “Playing golf has its ups and downs,” said Lama. “When you’re down, you can feel agitated. But you have to learn to put that aside and enjoy it.” He focuses on staying calm: “Once you physically relax, mentally relax, you won’t be grabbing the club too tightly or trying to hit the ball too hard.”
It’s a concept that golfers know is easier said than done. Lama suggests setting your intention explicitly before each round. Say to yourself, Today, I’m going to remain calm and enjoy my friends. When you do that, “you open your heart and mind together,” he said, “and it leads to big possibilities.”
Know the Rules better — and adhere to them more.
Your ball rolls onto a greenside sprinkler head. You say to yourself, I know I get relief, but is it one club-length or two?
“Golf is a complicated game,” said Jamie Wallace, the USGA’s senior manager of Digital Rules Education, Content and Technology. “It’s not played on a set field, like most sports, so it has to account for so many more situations. The Rules are complicated to try to get fair outcomes for people.”
Two foundational principles drive the Rules of Golf: To play the ball as it lies and to play the course as you find it. “If golfers keep those in mind,” said Wallace, “they’ll have a direction of how to proceed, even if they don’t know exactly how to do so.”
Still, it pays to understand the four Rules scenarios that Wallace says you’re most likely to encounter: 1) relief from a cart path or sprinkler head; 2) ground under repair or temporary water; 3) hitting your ball into a penalty area; and 4) losing your ball or hitting it out of bounds.
Commit those to memory via the Rules Hub on usga.org or the “12 Rules of Golf Explained” YouTube playlist. If you find yourself in a conundrum that even your pro can’t settle, call the Rules Hotline (908-326-1850); Wallace and his team are on call seven days a week.
“Ninety-nine percent of golfers are without referees,” Wallace said. “It sounds cliché, but knowing the Rules helps you know your options, which can help your score.” Not to mention eliminate the stress of worrying about an incorrect move. Because at the end of the day, reminds Wallace, “You’re responsible for yourself under the Rules.”
Tell a better golf story.
Everyone’s got a golf story. That time they made a hole-in-one, won a tournament – or, real talk – carded an 11 on No. 1. But there’s a delicate dance when it comes to recounting the experience in a captivating way. And because we don’t want you to be a boring blowhard, we sat down with Larry the Cable Guy, master comedian and dedicated philanthropist (his Git-R-Done Foundation has donated more than $8 million to veterans’ and children’s causes, including the Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children), to learn the art of golf storytelling.
Golf Journal: I just broke 80 for the first time. How do I tell my buddies so they actually believe me, or even just listen?
Larry the Cable Guy: The key is to combine that 79 with a couple of really bad shots. “Dude, it was the greatest round I ever had. I shot 79 – but I smashed one into a tree, one hit a house, one went sideways off the tee.”
GJ: Throw some self-deprecation in there.
Larry: Yeah, you get away with saying you shot 79 because you say it quickly. Then you move on. You don’t give them time to go, “You’re full of it.” Never give ’em time to see the trash.
GJ: So, what’s your golf story?
Larry: My first year playing in the American Century Championship [at Edgewood Tahoe Golf Course], I almost made a hole-in-one on 17, that iconic water hole. It literally rimmed the cup and stopped a foot-and-a-half from the hole. People are screaming. I get down there, I’m so excited and shaky. I can see the cameras are tilted on me. The greens are fast – and I pop it 8 feet past the hole. Then I miss the comebacker. Then I miss the next one. So, I four-putted an almost hole-in-one for a double bogey.
Be a pleasant playing partner.
Golf may be an individual sport, but more often than not, you’ll have playing partners, chosen or imposed. So, as Mom used to say, Play nice! And there’s more to being an enjoyable person than having a few jokes up your sleeve – playing proactive, “ready golf,” for example.
Helping to look for errant golf balls, picking up a club that was set aside, caring for the course, all are appreciated – as is minding others’ temperaments: “If you’re playing with someone who just can’t get out of their own way, give them space,” Frost said. “Walk or drive your cart to the other side of the fairway and just be silent or offer encouragement when it seems appropriate.”
Play more often.
Whether golf is intrinsic to your being or it’s all about the 19th hole, setting aside time to play is essential. (It’s what your millennial daughter might call “self-care.”) But that can be challenging, especially in today’s live-eat-sleep-work-from-home world.
“How you structure your week to make time for golf starts by first claiming the time and then building it in as a major architectural pillar of your week,” said Julie Morgenstern, time management expert and New York Times-bestselling author of “Time to Parent.”
How, exactly, do you execute this? “Have an integrated to-do list and calendar system, in which every to-do – every meeting, call, kids’ activity, or round of golf – gets converted into an exact time on the calendar,” Morgenstern said. Doing so, she advises, puts your mind at ease and keeps you from being distracted by all the things you might be forgetting.
Still, life happens. When an unexpected work deadline or family crisis trumps a Saturday morning tee time, you need to adjust. “Time is like a closet,” said Morgenstern. “Work, family, personal time, sleep – it all has to fit into a limited amount of space.” So, if golf gets imposed upon, you have to decide whether to give it up for the week, trade it for working hours (good luck with that PTO request), or shrink the time. This could mean playing nine holes, hitting the range after work, or practicing putting for 10 minutes.
“When it comes to healthy habits like golf, something that fuels you and gives you that mental break,” Morgenstern said, “it’s better to do a smaller portion than none at all, which can leave you feeling cheated.”
Incorporate mindfulness.
Mindfulness isn’t just a buzzword, it’s a life skill – one that can help you enjoy the game more. “Mindfulness is a quality of awareness, in which you consciously block past or future interpretations, judgments and fears from affecting the present moment,” said Sharon Salzberg, author of “Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves and Change the World.”
Rather than allowing a bad hole to blow up your round, apply the practice of “letting go.” Pause, take three deep breaths, say to yourself, I’m starting over, and… let it go.
Salzberg also suggests learning how to “return.” If you catch yourself thinking about that report you have to turn in tomorrow, gently say to yourself, Not right now. Doing so exercises the “letting go” muscle, which per Salzberg, “allows you to return to the present moment quicker, and with more grace or clarity.”
Be better prepared.
Confidence stems from preparation. You could feel totally dialed in the week leading up to an important round. Then, the morning of, you’re late because of traffic, forgot your lucky glove, or realize on the first tee that you’re clear out of your favorite ball model. You become frazzled – and all that preparation goes out the window. Here, Jane Frost and Erin Hills pro Kristine Schoonover share their tips for avoiding unnecessary fire drills:
Reconfirm with the course and/or your playing partners at least one day in advance.
Gather equipment the night before a round. No spouse wants to hear, “Honey, I can’t find my golf shoes!” as you’re rushing out the door.
Ensure your bag contains: at least two sleeves of balls, tees, a ball-mark repair tool, ample Band-Aids, a glove, sunscreen and an extra top or rain jacket just in case.
Pack water, especially since many courses have had to remove communal water jugs during COVID-19.
Arrive at least a half-hour before your scheduled tee time. “Especially on a new course, where you don’t know if the parking lot, golf shop, driving range, or first tee are a close walk,” said Schoonover.
Be on the first tee 10 minutes early. “There’s often a putting green nearby, which is a great place to get your mind in the game,” said Frost.
Who knows, being a better, more prepared golfer might even lead to a better score… if you care about that kind of thing.
Katie James Watkinson is a Philadelphia-based lifestyle and travel journalist who has contributed work to Condé Nast Traveler, Real Simple, BRIDES, Travel + Leisure, Bloomberg, and more.
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